The teeth are like sharp knives all around and if we understand how the tongue moves amidst them, we will then understand the forbearance which tongue shows. (SSB 1973, p. 141)
You have to make your love pure. To do so you have to develop Kshama or forbearance, which is a serene patience and self-restraint under all circumstances, giving good to all, even to those who may want to harm you. There is nothing greater than having this quality of forbearance. Forbearance is equivalent to truth itself, forbearance is the heart of righteousness, forbearance is the very essence of the Veda, forbearance is non-violence in practice, forbearance is contentment. It is compassion; truly it is everything in all the worlds. Only when you have developed patience and forbearance will you be able to obtain the Lord. (DBG, p. 30)
Of all the 26 virtues which have been mentioned in the Gita, forbearance is a particularly important attribute. Forbearance cannot be learned by studying books. It cannot even be acquired by the teachings of a Guru, it is only by faithfully sticking to your spiritual practice when you are under trying circumstances, that you will be able to acquire forbearance. It is when you are under test, in situations which are full of problems and difficulties, that the cultivation of forbearance takes place. There are a number of weaknesses hidden in man. Under trying circumstances, these hidden weaknesses manifest themselves as anger, fear, arrogance and hatred. It is at such times, that you will have to learn to practice forbearance.
If you have not developed forbearance then you will suffer much unhappiness and lack of peace in your life. Without forbearance you may take to wrong and evil ways. Therefore, it is essential that you recognize the importance of forbearance. All education, strength and renown that you have acquired will be of no use to you, if you do not have forbearance. There have been a number of great-accomplished people who have acquired different powers by means of penance, but they were unable to enjoy the fruits of their penance because they did not have forbearance. The most frequent reason for the loss of kingdoms by kings is due to lack of forbearance. Lack of forbearance has made great scholars lose their prestige. Forbearance may be compared to a great shining jewel which decorates you. Once such an important quality as forbearance is lost you will find yourself suffering from innumerable problems and sorrows. Therefore, one of the most important qualities which you should possess is forbearance; it is an absolutely essential quality for devotees. If this quality does not shine in humanity at large, then all of mankind will come to ruin.
You have to cultivate this important quality of forbearance by the arduous practice of putting yourself under test in difficult circumstances of various types. Forbearance may be seen as your vital protection. When you are equipped with forbearance you will not be troubled by grief or difficulties, by problems or untoward situations. There is nothing extraordinary about returning good for good, but doing good in return for bad... that is an extra ordinary quality, and the practice of such a virtue requires a great deal of skill. However much other people may criticize you, however much they may comment and condemn, you should never lose forbearance; you should remain unperturbed and continue to enjoy inner peace. When others admonish you, what can you possibly lose thereby? But if by chance, on account of weakness, you lose forbearance and patience, then you lose everything. So, you have to learn how to use forbearance and practice it properly, under all kinds of circumstances.
There are three important things in nature which are very useful for man. One is the tree, another is the river and the third is the cow. Without trees, rivers and cows, humanity would not be able to function very well. Whatever violence is done to a tree, however much trouble is given to it by cutting its branches and taking some of its wood, the tree continues to give protection from rain, and sun to any person who takes shelter under it, and it will try to continue to give that person joy. Trees have been doing good for people by giving fruits, flowers and fuel, even though in turn, people may have been doing harm to them. In the case of rivers also, however much the river will be dirtied by people, in whatever way people may use them without showing any gratitude towards them, still the rivers will continue to serve humanity; and even as they serve they will continue to concentrate on reaching the ocean, which is their goal and their home. Water gives life to humanity, whether you put it to good use or bad use, it does not mind. It continues to serve. Then there are the cows denying their milk to their own calves and providing milk for humanity, giving freely of this milk which is such a fine nourishing food for mankind. Whatever troubles you might give to a cow; still it will give you sweet milk. So cows also have been doing only good for humanity, whereas humanity may be giving all kinds of troubles to cows. These three, the tree, the river and the cow are good examples of forbearance. But, you should not go on showing forbearance under absolutely all circumstances. You have to carefully examine all the conditions and employ discrimination while practising forbearance.
It is said in Telugu that one should not give water to a thorny bush, or milk to a snake. Forbearance should not be shown towards people who are ungrateful. This relates to worldly matters; but it should be clearly understood that in the spiritual field, forbearance is an essential quality for reaching the divine state, and should be assiduously practised. You must have patience and forbearance, but at the same time, you should know under what circumstances and in what manner to use it. You should use patience and forbearance in spiritual practice and in controlling your own words when you feel like using them indiscriminately against people. You must use forbearance to exercise control over any bad qualities that are within you, which can come in the way of realizing your spiritual goal. You should consider the ability to exercise forbearance in certain situations as a test. For devotees, patience and forbearance is a vital quality. Only after achieving patience and forbearance will you be able to understand the true principle of spirituality and divinity. For practising patience and forbearance there are other things which have to be completely shunned. There should not be any attachment, any hatred or jealousy in you. If you have attachment, hatred and jealousy, even in the smallest measure, you will not be able to develop patience and forbearance. (DBG, pp. 165-170)
Forbearance is truth, forbearance is righteousness, forbearance is non-violence, forbearance is happiness. Forbearance really is equal in value to everything that you can find in all the worlds. If a person has forbearance then he will be able to acquire all the other important qualities such as mind control, sense control, renunciation, fortitude, faith and concentration. In Sanskrit these are called Sama,Dama,Uparati, Tithiksha, Shraddha and Samadhana; all these make up the state of inner purity. (DBG, pp. 245-246)
It is forbearance that is beauty in the sacred land of Bharat. Truth is considered the noblest of all the spiritual rituals. What else of all the sweet feelings is greater than the feeling of motherhood? The culture of our country says that character is more important than life that is downgraded. We are given to foreign culture today. We are given the swords, dress and freedom. Alas, what is to be said about Bharat’s administration? Just as the elephant does not know its own might, Bharatiyas also do not know their sanctity. The elephant though strong, does not know its own strength. Therefore, the elephant submits itself to the Mahout who holds a small iron rod. The culture of Bharat is of such strength. (DTB Vol.7, p. 7)