She must have real love towards the husband; only then can she be called housewife (grihini). Only then is she a dharmic housewife (dharma-patni, the bharya), the instrument and companion for dharma, wealth (artha), and desire (kama). She who knows the mind of her husband and speaks softly and sweetly is the real friend. Why, sometimes, when the wife has to point out the path of dharma to the husband, she takes on the role even of a father! And when the husband is down with illness, she is the mother.
A woman must accord first place to the service of her husband; that is true worship for her. Her prayers, worship, and spiritual exercises (Puja) can wait. Without serving the husband, she cannot attain bliss in worship or meditation. As a matter of fact, the Lord must be welcomed as represented by the husband, and all service rendered to him must be elevated to the level of worship; that is the path of genuine duty. If every act is done as if it is for the sake of the Atma and its merger with highest Atma (Paramatma), then activity becomes dedicated to the Lord. All such acts save; they do not bind.
It does not matter how bad or low the husband is; through love, the wife must bring him round, correct him, and help him gain the blessings of the Lord. It is not correct to feel that her progress alone matters and that she has no concern in his improvement or uplift. On the other hand, she must feel that the welfare of the husband, the joy of the husband, the wishes of the husband, the salvation of the husband are the panacea for her also. Such a woman will automatically receive the grace of the Lord, without special effort. Grace will be showered upon her; the Lord will always be by her side and be kind to her in all ways. By her virtue, she will ensure the salvation of her husband.
The woman is the prop of the home and religion. She plants and fosters religious faith or dries up and uproots it. Women have natural aptitude for faith and spiritual endeavour. Women with devotion, faith, and meekness can lead men on the Godward path and the practice of holy virtues. They will get up early, before dawn, clean the home, and, after finishing their bath etc., sit for a while engaged in repetition of the name (Japam) and meditation (dhyana). They will have in their homes one small room set apart for the worship of the Lord. There, they will place images of the Lord, as well as pictures of holy sages and of gurus and guides. They will consider the room specially sacred and fill the atmosphere with their prayers both morning and evening, as well as on holy days and festivals. A woman who is steadfast doing these will be able to transmute even her atheist husband, persuading him to join the prayers or engage in some good activity or some scheme of social service marked by the attitude of dedication to the Lord. Indeed, it is the woman who maintains the home; that is her mission. She is truly the representative of divine energy (shakti).
On the other hand, if the wife tries to pull the husband away from the Godward path, from the spiritual to the level of the sensual, or if the husband treats the wife who is disposed to seek joy from her spiritual endeavour as a person following the wrong track and tries to drag her away from it, the home is unworthy of that name. It is not a home but an inferno, where ghosts and evil spirits revel.
Really, woman should strive to achieve the knowledge of the soul and live every moment in the consciousness of her being only the Atma; she must evince always a desire to become one with the divine consciousness. The home where the woman is such and where the husband and wife are leading their lives in the shade of great ideals, where together they sing the glory of the name of the Lord and spend themselves in good deeds, where truth, peace, and love reign, where regular reading of holy books is done, where the senses are under control, and where there is equal treatment for all creation prompted by the knowledge of the basic unity of all creation —such a home is certainly Heaven on Earth. (DV, pp. 35-37)